On the Proper Handling of Post-Sermon Criticism

A topic I’m covering with my mentoring group for Pepperdine’s Compelling Preaching Initiative.

It doesn’t happen often, or at least not as often as it used to,¹ but when it does,² here are my personal guidelines for dealing with criticism after a sermon.

1. I try to protect myself from criticism until Monday.³

I’m fairly sensitive to certain forms of criticism.⁴ Whenever possible, I prefer not to have my Sunday afternoon and evening ruined by something that is usually better given and received on Monday.

• I do my best not to check email after church on Sunday. If I sneak a peek before going to bed and find a critical email waiting for me and then spend the night tossing and turning because I can’t stop thinking about it, I have no one to blame but myself.

• I attempt to establish a “Monday rule” with co-workers and elders. The rule is don’t pass on any negative feedback or criticism about anything that happened on Sunday until Monday.

• I also encourage the congregation to observe this rule as well, along with providing an explanation for the rationale behind it.⁵

  • I’m usually not in the right head space to respond well to confrontational criticism immediately after preaching a sermon.⁶

  • It’s impossible to have a meaningful conversation with a critic when surrounded by others waiting to visit with me.⁷

  • After 24 hours, the critic may decide the feedback isn’t worth sharing or at least be able to share it with less emotional heat.

• If the criticism comes via text, I try to ignore it until Monday, or I say, “Thanks for sharing your concern. Can we continue this dialogue tomorrow?”⁸

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

2. I attempt to clarify or explain my thinking to a critic only once via email or text.

If my written response doesn’t adequately address their concern, and they respond with more pushback, I suggest we meet in-person to have a more in-depth conversation. Most critics never take me up on the offer to meet. When they do, the outcome is usually a respectful conversation that either resolves the issue or allows us to amicably agree to disagree.⁹

3. I consider the source of the criticism.

• If the criticism comes from someone I trust, I take it seriously.  “Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” Proverbs 27:6

• If it comes from someone I don’t know well, but is delivered gently, I take it seriously, while also seeking some deeper dialogue to get to know the person better. I need more wise friends who are willing to help me see issues from other perspectives.

• Criticism almost always reveals as much about the critic as whatever they’re criticizing. This doesn’t mean the criticism isn’t valid or doesn’t contain some truth. But if someone seems to have a problem with everything I say and do, I assume they’re dealing with some underlying disappointment or pain that may have nothing to do with me.¹⁰ I also realize that given their apparent hatred of my guts, I’m not the best person to minister to them. I leave that to someone else on my team, while I try to pray for them.¹¹

• I’ve gotten more comfortable acknowledging that not every sermon is for everyone. When a critic says they didn’t like or get anything out of a particular sermon, I’ll sometimes say, “Then maybe it wasn’t for you today. Hopefully next week’s message will be.”

4. I thank the critic for bringing their concern to me.

They could have taken it to someone else.

5. I never want to miss the opportunity to apologize when the criticism is valid.

I’m not always right. My communication is not always clear. My smart-aleck mouth (what my mom calls it) has been getting me in trouble since first uttering a complete sentence.

6. I hold my critics accountable for uncharitable or un-Christlike communication.

I shut down personal attacks and challenge attribution of motive. “You can tell me what I said or did. And you can tell me how what I said or did negatively impacted you. But you can’t tell me what I was thinking or feeling when I said or did it.”

7. I do not read anonymous criticism.

If the critic doesn’t have the courage to sign it, I feel no obligation to read to it. Into the trash can it goes.

What would you add to this list?

1. Some of my early preaching was unnecessarily antagonistic.

2. Good preaching will inevitably generate some occasional criticism.

3. I say “try” because this requires cooperation from others and myself.

4. I’m working on a “taxonomy of criticism” for a future post.

5. I haven’t done this with my current congregation, because there hasn’t been a need, but I probably should. The honeymoon can’t last forever. Also, most critics will ignore this rule which is why I don’t check my email on Sundays.

6. I once had someone confront me about something that happened in the assembly while I was making my way to the foyer to shake hands. It was not a productive exchange.

7. I once had a visitor, who overheard a critic blasting me, step up and apologize and tell me they thought the critic was off-base.

8. I don’t care who you are. Texting criticism on a Sunday afternoon is uncool.

9. One time after one of these clarifying conversations, I asked the other person to pray and in the prayer he equated me with Satan.

10. It’s also possible they simply don’t like me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m sympathetic to those who attend a church with a preacher they can’t stand. I understand and support their decision to worship elsewhere until I move on. Life is too short to be miserable every Sunday.

11. It ain’t always easy.